What we started, you and I,
Could never be controlled.
For a deluded rare moment,
the reigns were mine alone to hold.

But as pain dug in its claws,
Dark clouds began to form.
They roll in unsighted,
Just needing the subtlest thought to be born.

Negative ideas multiply
Like the brain cells in which they’re created.
Why can a happy thought turn sour
But rarely more elated?

What we started, you and I,
Could never be controlled.
Pain turns to mental torment,
and I’m left helpless as it unfolds.

Very few will understand
The battle that rages within.
Crying alone at midnight,
As the house sleeps silently despite my interior din.

I have too many passengers on my bus,
They shout, I cannot cope.
I write down these words to control them
As they pick, they tug, they grope.

What we started, you and I,
Could never be controlled.
The pain and the depression,
Together, more than anyone can withhold.

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Arthritis and Psoriasis Patient Advocate, Writer And Consultant. Owner Of The Pain Company.

I share my story of Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis to raise awareness and specialise in pain, parenting (with disability) and the mental health impact of living with chronic illness. I write and campaign for leading charities and organisations. In addition, I provide patient experience consultancy for both charities and global healthcare companies.

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